the beginning of the orc brothers,.. from the Vesper orc chronicles
Posted by Grunk on June 26, 1998 at 15:14:04:
For those that are new to life, or for those that
have forgot, let me recount the histories of the seeming misplaced and
misunderstood Orc's brothers that have been there since the dawn of the
glorious Blood Clan brotherhood.
So it is told by the Orcs now, and as it partially
written now, the story of their beginning is foggy and shaded, its validity
is unsure since many of those who have witnessed their beginnings are long
dead. Dead from age or slain by the vile a wicked events in their upbringings.
On a quiet still afternoon, a man who's name
is not known to this day, traveled along the normally peaceful a serene
road between Vesper and Britain. To his surprise and his demise, his day
was horribly and sickly ruined by a thunderous trampling of bushes and
noise. Its never been told why the man had never run from this seemingly
dangerous encounter of unknown. Perhaps ignorantly he left the open roadway
and investigated the sounds and cafuffle out of curiosity, or perhaps he
was lured by some unknown pheromone of deceit. All that is known is what
has transpired since. But it is known that a great, huge and mighty orc
woman, hungry for blood and ripe with lust, horribly and gruesomely raped
the poor and unsuspecting fool of a man. The details of the rape were never
recorded, save only that is was a horrific and lengthy event that would
make even the strongest of Lich slayers quiver with revulsion.
There is a long time of unknown that spanned
over many years. All that is recorded is in a litter of orcs born by a
great and worthy Orc Warrior-Woman, two orclings survived 15 others. One,
the older one by 15 minutes, was named Ruhknar, the latter was named Grunk.
Although both orcs were very orcish in appearance, as they grew dissimilarities
became evident. Grunk had much of his victim of a father in him, where
as Ruhk was much like his mother, ruthlessly Orc in every detail.
Grunk had some very human attributes that Ruhknar
did not posses. Grunk was less aggressive, conniving, and was better at
cleaning fish, whereas Ruhknar was much more stupid, stronger, and could
consume twice as much kitten stew as Grunk.
As there years of the adolescence came and went
the two Orc brothers grew and maintained their acceptance as members of
the Glorious and warring Tooth Clan. Although Grunk was half human, he
proved his worthiness easily with his hunting tactics. Ruhknar, was a great
hunter as well and he became one of the Clans greatest hunters, able to
kill 16 Mongbats in one hunt, which was a glorious feat for any Orc warrior
in Tooth Clan.
Grunk and Ruhknars lives were blooming as any
young warrior orc should, but on the day after their mothers horrible and
vaguely understood death from a band of in season male mongbats, a tragic
moment in their lives transpired.
A small army of eighty and some human outcasts
stormed their hidden Tooth Clan village. The Tooth Clan, caught unaware
were scattered and slaughtered by the human outcasts. The name of these
blood thirsty humans is not known, but on their breasts the wore the symbol
of a bear and with the letters MO inscribed across their chest.
All of Grunk and Ruknars cousins, aunts and uncles
were slain horribly. Grunk and Ruknar were the only 2 Orcs that miraculously
survived by the means of shear chance.
Ruhknar, fighting savagely and berserk like any
true Orc warrior should was struck down in the midst of glorious combat.
He had gruesomely gored and poled 3 men who charged him. But three more
jumped him and pressed him backwards to the cooking huts. With a thwack
from a deadly pointed crossbow, a bolt screamed into Ruhknars thigh from
out of no where. In a snarl of pain and anguish he leapt at the 3 attackers.
With his weildy axe from his belt he severed the arm and head of the closest
man. The other two attackers swung their swords cleanly but missed his
dodging head. With a second swing his axe thudded into the forehead of
his 5th victim. The axe now stuck in the twitching human crushed skull,
slipped from Ruhknars grip. He dodged two full swings that would have spilled
his guts across the cooking hut floor, and leapt forward in a glorious
berserker rage. It only took a few seconds for ruknar to remove the mans
unprotected neck with his battle hungry teeth. Ruknar removed the mans
filthy head from its carcass in the traditional Orc Krok method out of
respect for Krungar, the slayer, the mythological Orc folk hero. As ruhknar
finished his honorable task of severing the heads of his victims, a man
hunter concealed under a veil of mysterious magic struck ruhknar a crushing
blow to the back of his head, dropping him instantly
Grunk, who was cleaning fish at the water near
the Tooth Clan village, missed much of the slaughter of his kin. Only the
sounds of running feet nearby the water caught his attention from his favorite
chore. Around a small clump of bush nearby he found the last few seconds
of the glorious death of the Tooth Orc Chief Yaggak. Two men and a shadowy
evil looking wizard smote his head to roll to Grunks feet. In an instant
Grunk threw his great and deadly hunting spear to thud into the off-guard
mage's heaving chest. The two men attacked the now seeming weaponless Grunk
but found that an unarmed Orc is still a deadly one. Grunk gouged the eyes
of one before he could finish his swing, and ripped out the thought of
the other in mid scream.
Moments later Grunk found the remains of his
trampled Tooth Clan spewn in pieces around the village. There were no survivors
of his the glorious Tooth Clan, save for his brother, angry and wounded.
It was on that day, that the two Orc brothers made a bloody and vengeful
swear to avenge the deaths of their kindred, amongst the dead, amongst
the ashes, amongst the blood.
the Vesper orc chronicles,.. The Beginning of the Blood-Clan
Posted by rUkNAr the orc on June 26, 1998 at 15:19:00:
From the ashes of the Hoof clan,. the orcs of
the Vesper wood,.. walked 2 orc brothers of the same litter,. with a small
band of orc friends emerged from the Vesper-wood and into the great human
city of Vesper. with nothing left to turn back to the small band began
to eke out a rag-tag existence with orc friends, ogna,.. Patricia,.. Llew
and a few others by robbing stealing,.. and looting,.. odd periods of employment,..
and many hungry and cold nights,. but the band lovingly stuck together
and with the help of Llews fine English education,.. the orcs became a
vine in the growing, thriving city of Vesper. eventually they called themselves
the tooth-clan,.. the tooth clan were known for standing up and attacking
the many evil mage guilds which at the time were still very numerous and
powerful,.. more powerful than they are today,.. but gone were the dreaded
MO mages which the gods of Britannia had banned from the living land for
cheating the very life force that every living creature had been granted
from the gods,.. they had cheated and tried to bend the rules of life for
there own greedy and selfish purpose,.. and this made the gods very angry,..
the god realized the selfish, greedy, stupid,. two-faced lying cheating
thieving enslaving mages had too much power in Britannia and their stupidity
had to be dealt with so the time had come for the gods to take much of
the power from the stupid humans and many mages were kicked off,.. banned
or vanquished from the land ,.. there was a time of great peace that followed,.
but only for a short while,.. for there were still many evil mage killers
left terrorizing the land,. and the tooth clan stood up to them all. but
the name tooth clan was only that,... just a name,.. brave and true warriors
were grouping with the tooth clan and three stories will all be told,..
the members of the tooth-clan were Grunk,.. rUkNAr, Patricia,. Llew the
mighty,.. slayer the cold,.. magnus the vengeful,.. eljacco the scoundrel,..
lucifer the collector of heads,.. and derachi the hungry. than there came
a night when a new name was chosen to match the bravery of the swelling
ranks of the tooth clan,.. a mighty name ,.. a name to strike fear into
any killer who shall be so foolish as to stray too close to Vesper,.. over
a camp-fire one night sat Patricia,.. Grunk,. Llew,.. and eljacco,.. Llew
and Grunk got into a squabble over a piece of dolphin steak roasting on
a stick near the beach which had been slain in the might sea on one of
the many journeys to the land of ice,.. when the fight was over both warriors
sat down bleeding and eating a scrap of steak which they had fought each
other for,...when Grunk saw blood trickle from a cut on his forehead,..
at the same time a tree fell in the woods and nobody herd it,.. also a
wood-chuck had finished chucking 3 pieces of wood under the moon of the
summer-solstice,. and at the same time Llew said unto Grunk,.. quit hogging
all the salt and pepper u filthy orc! and Patricia giggled,.. which startled
a nearby pheasant in flight and it flew across the moon in front of Grunks
eyes,.. but anyway,. back to the story,.. Grunk saw a drop of dolphin grease
drip down his fingers and said HEY,.. Blood-Clan a good name,.. heh,..
and everyone around the fire said,.. hey,. yaaa,. from that moment the
tooth-clan became the BLOOD-CLAN,. and the old orc ceremonial war garments
of a brown leather sash and a dark-brown kilt was replaced by the bright
blood flowing crimson capes,.. and the blood clan to this day still wear
the blood colors into combat against evil killers and guilds who have no
honor,.. only rUkNAR still wears the old garments of the hoof-clan as a
reminder of the past,.. (or hes just to stupid to get some new cloths,..
doesnt anyone ever tell him he smell bad?,.. oh well) from than on many
brave and true hearted warriors have swelled the ranks of the blood clan
and so there stories of the many fearless battles shall be told,..
(this brief history documented by a bush-monk)
the Blood-Clan chronicles,... the Birth of Llew
Posted by Grunk (half-orc) on June 26, 1998 at 15:24:45:
On the eve of the moon in full shine, the two
Orc brothers Grunk, and Ruhknar under the kind guidance of Patricia the
True, stumbled upon one of the Glorious Blood Clans great warriors.
That full moons eve, Grunk and Ruhknar sat in
silence in the bushes of the Vesper crossroads. Here the two brothers,
under the studying eye of Patricia the True, sat in a patient ambush for
any of the evil blood hungry mages that frequented the area. Some of many
of the same evil mages that slaughtered their kindred and fellow hunters
of Tooth Clan. The brothers sat patiently for vengeance. They did not kill
and dismember the average farmer or healer that occasionally wandered through
the highway intersection. They did not spear and gore the simple fisherman
and milking woman that too skipped along the seemingly safe and serene
Vesper junction. No, the brothers wanted only Blood from the MO mages that
cause havoc and fear in the Vesper woods.
Many, many hours had they spent in hiding and
waiting. Patricia the True, a warrior maiden herself, studied the orcs
in her quest for saving the nearly extinct species. Ruhknar would have
severed her head in an instant if Grunk were not there with him. Ruhknar
despise humans, and only Grunk, being the smarter of the two Orcs, realized
that they alone could not reap their vengeance alone. Grunk had tolerated
the warrior woman, who somehow spoke some Orc. She had helped them in the
past few weeks, to heal from their wounds, and find safety in unsuspecting
farmers barn lofts. Grunk accepted this help, but kept his wary on the
warrior womans sword arm.
As the darkness peaked in the night, the orc
hunter grew tired. Normally, they could hunt for many days with out sleep,
but earlier that day they had feasted on too much Mongbat meat, which is
known for making many strong men sleepy. Just as Grunks weary eyes began
to droop from yet another encounterless evening, footsteps were heard whispering
in the distance down the road.
Grunk's eyes perched open on his lids. The darkness
hid much of the silhouette that appeared in the distance on the road from
Britain. Grunk squinted though his human eyes but still couldnt see whom
the figure coming towards them was. Grunk glanced over to Ruhknar, who
hid only a few feet from him but noticed that the battle hungry orc was
not there. Scanning frantically he noticed the hunched blackened shadow
of his hungry brother sleeking closer into position. Grunk, being the smarter
of the two knew, that they should not attack the now apparent man approaching
unless they are sure it is enemy, but ruhknars killing instinct clouded
his vision and he saw only to hunt.
The man approached even closer and Grunk griped
his barbed long spear readily and released his grip when he noticed the
bard like clothing and walking stick of an innocent wayfarer. This was
no evil killer of a mage, but Ruhknar saw only the attackers of his village
walking down the path and he sprung into a frenzied action against the
poor traveler.
Grunk yelled out for Ruhknar to stop but to no
avail. Ruhknars ears heard only battle, and he threw his spear straight
at the mans heart. Luckily his spear missed slammed harmless into a tree
just a hand from the mans head.
Frozen with fear the man stood gaping like a
deer caught in the lights of a lighthouse. Ruhknar, cursing his aim, jumped
at the man rigid fright, and attacked with his sacrificial dagger that
he kept on his right calf.
In response the man recoiled and began to yelp
and scream in surprise. He flung up his arms and fled into the bushes off
the trail. Ruhknar charged in hot pursuit with only blood and vengeance
on his mind. Helplessly the man stumbled and tripped on some nasty tree
roots that seemed to try and get in his way. The Blood hungry orc leapt
on the poor soul and beat with his angry fists.
Grunk arrived just and the man was beaten senseless,
Patricia on his heels. He grabbed at his brother and flung him away from
the pulp of a man lying in near death before him. Grunk shouted several
words in anger at Ruhknar; words that are not recorded for Patricia knew
these guttural sounds not. Ruhknar and Grunk spat a few more angry words,
and then Ruhknar spat on the human body unconscious before then and stomped
off. Patricia kneeled down beside the broken man, checked him for life,
and began to revive him. Grunk, disgusted now, looked away cursing.
Hours had past, ruhknar was nowhere to be seen
and Grunk was trying to coax a squirrel to come out of hiding. He was hungry
and had not eaten enough Mongbat meat to last him the long night. Patricia
had cooed the badly beaten man into consciousness. She spoke with him as
she healed his beaten ribs. She learned he was a mere poet, traveling the
countryside delivering his poems for food and board. He claimed that he
was traveling to Vesper all the way from yew for he heard that Vesper was
a town of opportunity and adventure. Grunk appeared soon after with a handful
of squirrels dangling from his fist, and met the man. He spoke the monosyllabic
English Patricia had taught him. he learned that then beaten victim was
name Llew. Llew the Poetic was his name he was known by, but not in these
parts. Grunks human side felt sorry for the sap. The pathetic man was
beaten out of ignorance and his own brother stole the mans innocent dream
of adventuring and fun. Grunk decided that he must repay this Llew the
Poetic, for the dishonorable beating he endured. Grunk spoke that the man
will remain with them, until he was fully healed. Llew, more out of fright,
accepted the offer and in exchanged offer to teach the illiterate Orc better
English. Grunk agreed. From the bushes soon after, an apologetic and scorned
Ruknar appeared with a handful of kitten tails in offering to Llew for
an exchange of sorrys.
From that day forward, Llew had healed and learned
much from Grunks teaching. Grunk taught him to fight like a warrior, how
not to run like a coward, and how to clean fish, even the really smelly
kind. Grunk too had learned to speak the common English much better, and
was thankful. Ruhknar on the other hand, still wary, full of fire, and
out and out stupid, couldnt learn one bit of English. Soon there after
Grunk gave Llew a new name. He was no longer known as Llew the Poetic but
honorably given Llew the Fragak; which when translated mean Llew the Brave
or depending on the version of translation could also mean Llew Beaten
Head But Still Walks.
So it is written......
Tales From the Blood Chronicles,... To Get a Boat
Posted by rUkNAr the orc on June 26, 1998 at 15:30:48:
in the vast smelly dirty sea-ports of Vesper,..
where many sailors are found drinking stealing,. fight,. or talking to
the ladies of the evening,.. 5 members of the blood-clan Grunk,. ruk,..
Patricia,.. Llew,.. and slayer were walking to the main docks where you
could buy boats or vessels for 2000 or under,.. it was than a sailor yelled
out to the clan "hey,. did I ever tell ye bout the time I was shipwrecked
on a small island with a cargo load of sheep from trinsic" but before the
drunk sailor could finish the clan had walked into a tavern called The
Fish-Gutter's Inn where they were going to buy a boat,. with 1400 gold
coins in his pocket,.. the blood-clans meager savings, Grunk (the half
orc) in broken English said to Llew "blod-snug chubba-na gog boat for us,.."
and Llew speaking fluent orc said,.. ok,. and turned to the tavern keep
and asked how much the cheapest boat he had for sale was .rudely,.. the
tavern was about to scream at Llew to get those filthy orcs outa here but
at a second glance noticed that Llew had a bag of coins for a boat,.. smiling
,. the half drunk keeper pointed out a window at a bran new mid-sized dragon-boat
with factory wooden benches,.. full sized econo-hold with a custom lock
option and a booming JBL rowing drum,.. fine single sail canvas from yew
and factory suicide planks on both sides,.. the man said he wanted 1500
for the boat,.. just then a sailor yelled out from the table next to ruknar
drunkenly" hey,. did I ever tell ye bout the time I was adrift at sea for
5 months with a cargo of passanger artists,. actors,.. and poets,.." but
before he could finish,.. ruk,. who had been startled by the drunk man
sudden out burst turned and swung at the man with the bag of small shiny
objects he had for some dumb reason been collecting thinking they might
be worth some money and knocked the guy out cold,.. the innkeeper than
screamed for the blood-clan to leave and everyone turned to leave but not
before Grunk got into a fight with 2 of the bouncers and in a violent burst
of orc rage and smashed both upper and lower rows of teeth out of the first
bouncer with the sewing kit he had been carrying in a leather pouch with
the cast iron helmet leaving bloody chicklets all over the filthy wooden
floor,.. he than head butted the second bouncer smashing the nose and knocking
out the unfortunate man,.. "jukkna-na gomn!" Grunk yelled and every one
ran out of the inn and down the street ,.. but not before Llew the brave
looted the sailor and the two bouncers and grabbed 3 bottles of fine Britain
red wine,.. Llew ran out the door and before he cought up with the others,..
he urinates all over the innkeepers horse which was tied up in front of
the door,.. the five were now wondering where they would now get a boat
when a sailor yelled out from a boat"yarr three,. did I ever tell yee about
the time I was on 5 month voyage with a cargo load of harpies and we were
all board one night and we went to the3 cargo hold and" just then Grunk
,. Patricia,. and slayer yelled out such death threats to the sailor that
he turned pail white and said nothing more,.. depressed,.. the 5 got drunk
on the wine Llew had swiped from the tavern and stole a boat that was left
unlocked on the Vesper beach after severely beating up the poor sailor
who was on board and the 5 set sail for the land of ice,.. no one know
what the sailor said that deserved him the beating he received but it probably
didnt have to be much,.. that first night of the voyage the 5 drunkenly
sang goofy childhood songs until 4 in the morning,.. Vesper-time,. I guess
red wine does that sometimes,..
(history scribed by a bush-monk)
There are More
Posted by the Seer of Truth on June 26, 1998 at 15:36:06:
In Reply to: Vesper Orc Chronicles, The beginning
of the Brothers posted by Grunk on June 25, 1998 at 21:17:48:
Yes great learners of truth, and history , there
are some relatives of the orcs of Vesper , they were seen in Yew .There
were two clans The Orc Tooth Clan , fathered by the great chief Yaggak
, But his brother , long believed dead , [ raped by a male Oger , and left
for dead ] Survived , and fathered a group of misfit half orc-oger ,[ somehow
this brother gave birth!] tribe known as Orc-sphincter tribe. Due
to complications , Shagrat, brother of Yaggak died giving birth . The Orc-Sphincter
tribe ,terrorized the countryside ,raping and pillaging , always on the
move ,before finally settling in a valley south of Yew . Unfortunately
, for the Orc-sphincter tribe ,the people of yew revolted, and totally
demolished these orcs-ogers. They were an abomination , and according to
the people of Yew, had to be destroyed. As the townsfolk of Yew burned
the corpses , and proceeded to rid Yew valley ,of this vile and filth,
a young man named ,Eugene ,discovered three infant orcs and one half orc
-oger. He felt a deep longing , to take these young critters ,and
care for them .
Not much is known of the lives , of the three
orclings ,but they have been seen to this day , in the valley of Yew .Perhaps
if the Blood Clan ,found their long lost relatives , the united clans would
once again roam ,and maybe even rule Britannia. Of the other little Critter
, The half Oger -orc , There is little more known .But it is said that
Eugene , the man who found the little younglins ,had been found mutilated
, in his out-house. Most people believe Oger the Half Orc ,
had killed and had forgotten to eat the rest .Well that is the story ,as
it is known by some ,There is rumor that the deceiving , Malicious Oger
half orc ,had at one time infiltrated the Blood Clan, but that is a story
for others to tell............
Tales from the Blood Chronicles,.. to Get a Boat,.. journey to the Land of Ice
Posted by rUkNAr the orc on June 26, 1998
at 16:26:16:
it was a long long voyage for the 5 blood,..
after a night of drinking wine and singing songs from three childhood,..
Grunk,. ruk,.. Llew,.. Patricia,.. and slayer spent much of the next day
vommiting over the railing of the new ocean vessel they had stolen from
Vesper. Grunk who had little navigation skills had a map to the wonderous
land of ice,.. the name itself brought on thoughts of tresureand riches
and adventure. for the rest of the morning nobody talked much,.. Patricia
and slayer were picking on the sailor who had been kidnapped and beaten
by the 5 blood the nigh tbefore,.. Grunk was busy trying to fish over the
side of the boat,.. ruknar was taking pot shots at the seagulls with his
bow and Llew was nursing his hangover sitting by the mast of the mid sized
vessel,.. Llew was thinking to himself,.. maybee a song would cheer
everyone up so he pulled out his trust-worth lute he had in his pouch,..
and began to play,.. "oh micky your your so pretty cant you understand,..
you take me by the heart, when you take me by the hand,.. hey micky,..
hey micky,.. oh micky your so fine ,. you,......" suddenly Grunk wheeled
about in anger and lunged at Llew and the two werstled to the deck of the
ship,.. for a few minates the scuffle went on with Grunk screaming "Gokk
foog nagga gome u scare away fish jukkna bokk out of key cat in heat ja
noog fa i shove that thing up bagotta!" and so on and Llew was screaming
"Keep your smelly rotten hairy hooks of me u filthy harpy lover!" at that
point the lute whizzed past ruknars head and with a SPLOOSH hit the water
and floated away,.. "Jukkna-na gomn!" ruk turned and yelled at the two
in the boat and pulled out his dagger,.. just then in a gush of water,..
a big black serpents massive head lunged out of the water and stopped two
inches from ruks head,.. feeling the warm tuna smelling breath on the back
of his neck,. ruk turned around and looked at the gigantic atrocity eye
to eye for a few seconds and dropping the dagger from his hand spoke calmly
in orc "wan-gowwa!" a second later the rest in the boat watched in horror
as the beast grabbed ruks head and shoulders in its toothy maw and began
shaking ruk like a rag doll while making a growling poodle sound. a second
later Llew Grunk and Patricia had ax,. sword,.. and bow in hand and were
assaulting the giant with the furry of a 1000 angry wasps,.. moments later
the monster spit out ruk SPITUEEY! and ruk crashed to the deck of the boat,.
slayer at that moment cast a spell and summoned a lightning bolt down from
the clouds and struck the beast,.. making it submerge for a few moments,..
by then the sailor had the boat running at full speed and it wasnt long
before they had out distanced the serpent,.. the next few days after that
were none eventful and food was running out and tempers were flaring,..
three was a moment when it seemed the group was about to kill each other
when Patricia screamed out,.. "oh my gosh,.. land,.. land ho,. were saved!
and the five blood watched in awe as they held three first glimps of the
legendary ice island,..
Tales from the Blood Chronicles - Book One of Magnus
Posted by Grunk on June 26, 1998 at 17:35:30:
...Llew had led the warrior into Grunks hideout
just inside Vesper north Woods. Ruhknar looked up from the human hand he
was munching on and Grunk stopped playing with his newly found shiney trinkets
he found off their first vengeful kill to notice the Man Clad in Blue and
plate chest.
Ruhknar grabbed for his spear and Grunk shouted
a gluttered swear in Llews direction, "Jabba Ja Glok!!! Llew!!??You!!!!"
Since Patricia and Slayer were off chopping wood
somewhere in the distance out of ear shot..Llew was on his own, and had
no Patricia to hold back Grunk and Ruhknars Orcish side. Llew
stammered, " I --Uh!...okay now wait...I know this looks bad-"
"Bragatta!!" Ruhknar held his spear back and
prepared to huck the deadly tipped pole into the strangers chest, but Grunk
stayed his arm.
"Who dis!" Grunk spat, "You know dat we not breeng
peepolls to hidey spot!"
"Ah..okay..yeah, welll I wanted to talk to you
about that uh...you see today when you and Ruhk were out in the bushes
beating squirrels sensless again, which by the way is getting really annoying.
You know those squirrels didnt do anything to you I dont see why you-"
At that instant Llew words were stopped and Ruhknar
picked up a rock and hucked it at Llews poetic thinking forehead, stopping
hium in mid sentance.
"Kruk!! Ruknar Homogown!", Grunk spat and shoved
Ruhknar back to the ground where he glared and snarled furiously in Grunks
and Llews direction.
"Hey!! would you quit that!" Llew bellowed as
he rubbed the big purple-red spot on his forehead, "Thats really getting
old you know!!!"
Ruhknar chuckled orcishly to himself, "Heh heh!
Stupid Stupid heh Heh!" Grunk too found the incident sunddenly amusing,
"Heh Heh...Rock...Heh Heh!" Ruhknar got back up on his feet chuckling at
the simply humor that he and Grunk mysteriously found, picked up a rock,
grinned at Grunk like a small child who found a new toy, and hucked again
at llews forehead again. "Heh Heh"
Llew stumbled back, and tripped over the confused
and uncertain Magnus behind him, to fall to the ground. "Aarrraaaaah! Damn
you stupid Orc!" Llet spat and picked up a rock, aimed for Ruknars forehead,
and threw with all his strength.
The rock thudded in Ruhknars brown skinned head,
knocking him to the ground. Grunk himself armed with a bigger rock, with
really sharp peices of glass and broken beer bottles glue to it, sent his
own rock hurling at Llew who ducked in time. Magnus, still confused in
this apparently weird situation was think about leaving the weirdos behind
regardless of what Llew said to him earlier, received the healthy blow
from Grunks missile. THUD!!! Magnus reeled over backwards and thus
began the biggest rock fight a Man and orc has ever participated in...where
Magnus, a mere friend that Llew had found as he scavenged through the bush
picking berries, vengefully beat back Ruhknar and Grunk's rock fight.
Grunk now sorely and openly defeated with numerous welts crowning his head,
groggily sat up and begged Magnus to stay with them a few days. It was
from that day forward, and to Grunks dismay, Magnus stayed a few days,
and decided never to go away. He proved his worthiness in several skirmishes
with the new COTD peoples Army that was terrorizing the land. He was a
strong swordsman, apprentice mage, and a really good decoy to leave behind
to the masses of COTD to clobber to allow the others to escape. From those
days forward, through the days of his disappearance and reappearance, and
to the days to come, he was known as Magnus the Vengeful. But to Ruhknar
he was simply still known as Big Dummy Guy!
Or sit it is written by a bush monk...
The Life-Time Study of Orcs and Orc Behavior
Posted by Patricia on June 26, 1998 at 18:16:19:
some times they call me the orc lady,.. i dont
mind,.. Ive been studying orcs in the natural habitat for years,.. ever
since Ive completed my studies at the Vesper united Britannia university
as a zoologist,.. Ive had a natural fascination of orcs,.. i grew up near
an orc village with my family and often we traded goods with the orcs who
never seemed to harass human villages which they live near,.. we would
give them blades,.. blankets,.. canned goods,.. salt for preserving meat,..
tools,.. and sometimes wine,.. ale,.. and bottles of window-cleaner,..
i never knew what they did with the window cleaner,.. anyways,. I had plenty
of opportunity to study orcs and i got my best studies from the now extinct
hoof clan,.. after receiving my doctrine,.. i delved into a life time of
orc study,.. i would sit near a group of orcs in the wood and just sit
near them,.. at first i made them very nervous,.. soon though they regarded
me as a non threat and i was allowed to get a first time glimpse of three
culture,.. the clans are always dominated by a few of the older warrior
males who get to mate with the females ,.. like humans,. orcs have a 365
day a year mating season,.. clans hunt and fish and usually will go to
war when provoked,. sometime provoking is not needed when some of the younger
males get frustrated with not getting to mate around the bigger males and
they will go out among the woods and harass stray humans,.. this usually
bringing down the wrath of near by villages,.. it is my feelings that if
the onslaught of orcs, trolls, and ettins carrys on three will come a day
when three will be none left. the black market trading of orc hand ashtrays,.
orc helms,.. orc masks,.. orc suntan lotion and orc bug repellent is the
driving force behind three extinction,.. earlier on in my studies i was
lucky to meet a half orc,.. half human set of brothers named ruknar and
Grunk,.. later with the addition of Llew with his fine Britannia language
education and study of language and poetry,.. we were able to be the first
humans to grasp a hold of the orc language and are currently writing the
first edition of the orc-Britannia translation dictionary,..
Stop the trade of orc-skin bean babies,...
as written be Patricia the true,..
Tales from the Blood Chronicles - the Fall of Black Tower
Posted by Grunk on June 26, 1998 at 19:14:46:
It was known for many ages that the Blood Clan
had allied in its infancy stages with several other clan, all of whom rose
and fell, never lasting the strength of blood Clans timeless record. However
one such alliance brought about many Brothers and Sisters to the Clan.
During the great war of COTD, of which Blood
Clan, still slim in its force merely consisting of Grunk, Ruhknar, Llew
the Brave, Patricia the True, Slayer the Wicked, Magnus the Vengeful, Lucifer
Collector of Heads, and the newer member Derachi Maker of Widows, several
great battles were fought, some consisted with the help of the Blood Clan
ally Black Tower....
The shopkeeper of the Bucket and Sword, general
store eyed Grunk cautiosly as he upacked several coats of chain tunics,
swords, and other items of warfare on the counter.
"Grunk selling!" he gluttered to the shopkeeper,
who meticulous but with a wary eyes examined the goods piled on his table.
He sifted through the metal and leather good looking for flaws and checking
quality.
"Yar, you knows that I dont accept stolen goods
fer buy ye know. Arr, i downt like item robbed from tha' dead aas well.
I keep an honest store here orc.", the shopkeep said cocking a suspicious
eye at Grunks face.
Grunk showed a look of disgust. "Bah!...Grunk
honest Orc! All dees ees Grunks extra stuffs"
The shopkeep looked back at his shuffling through
the goods and inspected each item meticulously. The door of the shop opened
to let in a evening rainstorm and a very wet Llew..
"Ahh Grunk there you are I got someone I want
you to meet."
"Bah, Llew, Grunk not want to see anodder oned
of yer sissy Poet buddies!"
" No no! Grunk, i met these mysterious Mages
when I was out practicing my new dance i made outside Vesper limits. He
says he is from a High and Powerful Mage Guild Known as Black Tower and
that they are look for some freelance Soldiers to die for them on the front
lines...what do you think? They also warring with the COTD!"
For a moment Grunk thought. Wheels and gears
churned and grinded in Grunks Half Orc skull. Just before Grunks petty
little brain was starting to make sense of Llews peoptic speech, the shopkeep
rudely interrupted.
"Hey! you dumb bloke of an Orc. I thought you
said this stuff wasnt stolen or looted stuff!" He picked up a pair of leather
combat gloves and disgusted tossed them at Grunk.
"Gruh?" Grunk looked at the gloves and set them
back on the counter.."What? These are Grunks Spare set of gloves....What
wrong?
"Yar!!! theres a human hand still in one of the
gloves you stupid Orc! It looks like its been chewed off...Get out of here
you fool!" Grunk grabbed the man by the collar and slammned his head onto
the store counter knocking him senseless...
"Grunk hate shopping" he said as he turned to
Llew. "where is dis Mage guy?" "he is outside..come on."
Grunk grabbed his gear and followed Llew outside
to meet with the Stranger dress in purple drenched robes.
"My name is Klandraak...I need your services
of you and your clan...we are staging some attack on the infamous COTD
horde and we need a few strong arms to charge the front."
Grunk and Klaandrak talked long about COTD and
Blood Clans role. After many hours of talking, Klaandrak finally understood
what Grunk was saying in his glutteral English and they aggrees for a mutal
atack on COTD tower, the infamouse hideout of the evil warring mage army
that was stroming the land.
The next day, Grunk and the Blood Clan gathered
behind the Vesper bank in hiding waiting for one of the Black Tower Mages
to appear and magically gate them to the Tower for the assault. Llew and
Slayer grew tired from the days waiting and Llew broke into song. Ruhknar,
horrified by Llew inant chanting and singing vented his frustrations on
pushing around Derachi, the new and meek Blood Clan recruit Grunk had found.
It had only take a few moments before the magical
gate casted by an unknown and unseen Black Tower mage opened up for the
Clan to enter the attack through, and the stumbling and brawling Blood
Clan accidently forced Magnus through the gate on his own. Grunk ordered
the Clan to rush through and they stumbled up the scene of a horrid battle
ground of magic and horror. The Clan sprung into action searching for the
nearest purple robed Black Tower mage to fall in front of, but the chaotic
entrace of Magnus stumbling through blindly cuased a wide panic amougst
the combatants. Death and carnage filled thethe battle feild and the Black
Tower Mages were sorely and utterluy beatn back. The Blood CLan, scattered
as usualwere beginning to panic and flee. Derach and Magnus were beaten
badly and Patricia pulled the two through opened retreat gate that the
Mage Uvatha had opened for them. The fearless and honorable Klaandrak,
shooting fire bolts in every direction took a speat in the back flung from
Ruhknar who mistook the Great Black Tower leader for a Trugnokk the Orc
Demon, a mythilogical warrior slayer whose bedtime fables were told to
every young orcling.
The COTD, victorious in there war, slaughtered
the Black Tower army and beat back the remaining attackers including the
remnants of BLood CLans tiny war party.
With Black Tower leaderless and in dissarray,
many of the lost mages turned to Blood Clan for leadership. unbeknownst
to the once powerful Mage guild, the Blood Clan was the demise of their
beloved organization. If it wasnt for the foolhardy mistake of one spear
hucking orc, the COTD war may have been defeated earlier, the Black Tower
mage guild may still have been a pinnical of power and Blood Clan would
not have gained the support of Eris Curses Like Thunder, Hellsong Breeds
Like Dog, Aswepe the Slayer of Babies, Uvatha the Sly, and Avatar the Hungry
and others who deed have not yet been read...
Or so the story is written from some bush monk
Posted by AVATOR on July 07, 1998 at 16:15:48:
one fine day i was in hyloth hunting when i came
across a half orc child,he ran up to me crying,he says 'help a group of
demons are raping my mommy and have my dad tied to a post making him watch'
now normally i would have killed him on the spot but it he hit a soft spot
and i hate demons,so i tells him lead on.he leads me deep into the dungeon
and says in there pionting to a door. i summon a demon and tell it wait
here and run inside,what i saw still send shivers down my spine,a slayer
of souls sitting on a throne laffin at 2 other demons taking turns on a
orc woman, and a half orc named Grunk tied to a post shouting dreadful
curses at them,when slayer saw me he shouted kill him,i runs threw the
door and shout for my demon to attack the first one ,and run on down and
around the corner,and summon a blade spirit,as soon as demon came around
corner hit with the spirit and hid,,while demon was attackin spirit i hit
with another spirit and soon it was dead.i waited a minute or to to reach
full mana then went around corner and came face to face whith a the first
demon ,he almost dead from my demon and a couple ebolts later he was dead
but not before he almost kill me himself..i heal up and get ready for final
battle,i change myself into a demon and enter room,slayer ask is human
dead i say yes.he say then kill these dirty orcs and be done with it. i
walk up to the woman she sceaming no no no.i raise my hand and utter VAS
COR POR,and send a vortex slamming into slayer and qickly cut grunks bonds
and we both send bolts into layer as he fighteing slayer,,soon the slayer
falls and Grunk is most happy,tells me to do his wife for reward,,looking
at her and seeing the demon jism all over her almost made me sick ..but
i smiles and says no thanks,then he says you are a mighty warrior you may
join my clan,,and that how i became blood ,,beleive it or not
The story of Glendor and Blood Clan
Posted by Glendor on July 08, 1998 at 18:07:42:
The story of Glendor and Blood Clan
Back in the days before the guild wars, when
Peasant Killers walked the land freely, a young lumberjack & tinker
named Glendor roamed the land getting chased by Lizard Men and grizzly
bears. He plied a small trade in wooden shields and locked boxes, but for
the most part had little money and little adventure. Starting life in Minoc
and ending up in spending time in Vesper, Glendor often saw a strange Half
Orc named Grunk the square in front of Vesper Bank.
Grunk would be there often grunting and shouting.
One day Glendor stumbled upon a rare Orc Mask in the woods on a dead warrior.
When arriving back in town, Glendor decided to give it to Grunk. It was
well known in town that Grunk was a little insecure in his hybrid features.
Grunk was grateful for the mask and began a Orcish discussion with Glendor.
"Can ya fight gud?" Grunk asked. "We need gud fighters to hunt dem Peasant
Killers." Alas, Glendor admitted that he had little fighting skill, no
more than what could be gained at a warrior's guild hall. Grunk invited
Glendor to accompany Blood Clan on a trip to Covetous dungeon. Glendor
had never been to a dungeon before, but agreed anyway.
Glendor put on his leather armor, broadsword
and wooden shield and followed the Blood Clan into the dungeons. His skill
rose quickly and soon Glendor began to enjoy the hunt much more than making
locking boxes. In those days, the Lady Patricia was often seen at Grunk's
side. This kind women often came to the aid of Glendor when the fiercer
warriors had left with the Blood Lust in their eyes and Glendor was left
battling a tough Giant rat or Harpy. Soon Glendor began to enter dungeons
in search of treasure and glory with out the Clan to back him up. He still
would hunt with the Clan when needed, but spent time raising his skills
and learning magery.
As the months passed, Glendor was on many Clan
PK hunts and given Clan colors to wear when hunting. Still not a member
of Blood Clan, Glendor would not hesitate to heal the dastardly Grunk and
Grunk would not hesitate to stop the Clan hunt and wait while Glendor was
resurrected from one of his numerous deaths. Many days and nights were
spent magically gating form one dungeon to the next in hunt of the elusive
and cowardly PKs. On a sunny day outside Despise dungeon, Grunk said "Glen,
you ready to join up?" On that day, Glendor swore the Blood Oath and became
a steadfast Blood Clan member.
Aswepe - My story (condensed version)
Posted by Aswepe on July 12, 1998 at 02:12:43:
Many moons have set and fell since the first
days of sosaria when the original Avator killed the evil mage "whats his
name" and many guilds and groups of brave fighting souls have come and
gone. In the month of December a new warrior was bourne into this world,
he had the humble name of Aswepe, a cruel joke of a name bestowed upon
him by his drunk of a father and uncaring mother. As the months passes
this weak, stupid smith scoured the mountains of Minoc spending months
on end mining and carrying ore out of the great mountains of the north.
Well he got bored one day and (this story sucks) decided to go off in search
of adventure. He had heard of a dungeon off to the west of his little world
of Minoc and decided one day to go off with his newly made viking sword,
heater shield, and chainmail armour.
Days and nights passed only to find this adventurous
smith wandering the forests of Britannis just trying to find his way to
this great dungeon "Covetous." Suddenly a rustle was heard in the bushes
near his left leg, startled he jumped back to see a killer SEWER RAT charging
madly right at him. In fear and suprise our little hero turned and ran
like the wind in the opposite direction of this mad beasts attack.
Breaking into a clearing he became witness to a great battle between two
groups of men dressed in uniforms. One group was wearing purple and the
other had on black and yellow colors and clothes. Aswepe being less than
genius slowly walked up to get a closer look when WHAM all of a sudden
he was dead. frantic and existing somewhere between reality and the netherworld
Aswepe ran in circles shouting "I am dead, oh no I am dead" As the battle
around him slowed to a halt with the purple guys being victorious a hulk
of a man dressed in all purple and wearing a magical mages hat came and
said "dammit ghost stand still" not being sure what the hell was going
on here Aswepe decided to stand and see what this kind looking man had
in store for him. In an instand Aswepe was standing alive in front
of the great and powerful BT guild. well i am bored so la la la he worked
in minoc for a while longer, then started fighting bla bla bla bla bla
then joined Black Tower under the great guildmaster Lord K'Laaldrak bla
bla bla Black Tower fell apart, bla bla bla he met Uvatha, and Ristlin,
and Grunk through the guilds being allies (although Black Tower was stronger
at that time). bla bla bla bla he went off alone again. bla bla bla He
became stedfast friends with Llew by fighting with him in Covetous more
than once and picking up Llews loot off his body and returning it at a
later date. bla bla bla Bld has been together forever and its badass bla
bla bla
Book 8 of Aswepe - Churma Fruk...The Honor of Orc
Posted by Grunk on July 12, 1998 at 14:14:32:
In Reply to: My story (condensed version) posted
by Aswepe on July 12, 1998 at 02:12:43:
Perhaps it was a grey afternoon when Aswepe first
met Grunk, perhap it was night, either way there was no sun on the bleak
dark day. Aswepe wiped the sweat off his brow and rested his back against
the near by Bank wall. Looking around the room, many other survivors in
the Blood Clan were dressing their wounds and catching their breath. Uvatha
the Sly looked as ready as always, Ruknar the Orc bore and evil grin, Llew
paced back and forth frantically across the interior bank chamber floor,
Morgana was dressing Avatars many wounds, and rest held their own nervous
looks.
Aswepe gulped and looked down at the floor, and
tried not to think about what was about to come. The Blood Clan had just
slaughtered many SAS troopers in the Trinsic city limits inan effort to
provoke and lure them to attack. Only a few of the fools died and it wasnt
an easy battle. The Clan suffered many wounds and Magnus the brave was
beaten into an awful sumbmission. Aswepe himself almost died if it were
not for Apocalypse's mad plunge from the bank roof in the heat of combat.
Aswepe became the target of attackt and Apocalype daringly gave his health
and took a multiple arrows to save Aswepe from a horrible derath. Apocalypse
now lay in the corner of the bank, moaning in pain and 4 arrows erected
from his thigh, shoulder and chest.
Aswepe looked over and the bleeding Apocalypse,
Morgana had begun to dress his wounds and Truesight started to remove the
arrows. Apocalypes screamed in agony as the first arrow yanked from his
thigh dripped in blood and gore onto the banks floor boards. Aswepe looked
back to the floor feeling guilt.
The bank back room doors burst in and Grunk entered
the room with the Bank owner at his side begging and pleading...
"No..dont fight ere! Oi you goin' ta destroy
the place!"
"Bah, shaddup you stupid fool!", Grunk spat back
and pushed the meek banker back to stumble and fall to the floor. "If you
a smart man..you would go find a hidey spot!" The man stumbled back up
to his feet, looked around the room at the warriors held up inside and
ran to a back room closet to hide.
"Brodders!", Grunk opened up, "Da Sinners are
on der way! Get ready to fight...we make stand here!" Grunk tightened his
grip on his spear and and hungry, toothy grin shot evilly from his face...
The Clan readied their weapons and shuffled to
and defensive position to the interior of the bank. Aswepe, still tired
from the pervious battle, withfdrew his broadsword and went to take his
stance near Morgana.
"Aswepe!" Grunk spat, "You have da honor of being
da Churma Fruk!" Ruknar began to chuckle evilly " Heh heh, Rooga Da Fruk!
Heh Heh....Heh..you Fruked heh heh" Then Grunk continued, " Aswepe!, Churma
Fruk is great warriors honorable duty! You are front man! Barnag! Meaggo
demolga yarnuck krukkak!'
"I...uh....what do you mean?" Aswepe replied
and looked over to Morgana for help with the brut orcs thick dialect and
glutteral speach. "Whats he want me to do?"
Morgana lowered her head and sighed. She fiddled
with the strap on her sword holster for a moment then spoke. "He wants
you to be the one who greets them first."
"What!? What the heck does that mean?" Asweped
replied looking questioningly to Morgana then Grunk.
Ruknar let out another glutteral chuckle and
the Grunk said" Aswepe!...You open da door when dey come! You da Churma
Fruk man! Now get ready! I hear dem coming!"
Tension in the room just swelled and the warriors
readied their weapons and stood steady!. Aswepe shuffledf to the door,
exhaustion still peaking with in him. He placed his hand on the door knob
and looked at Grunk...the room was deathly quiet.
Commotion was heard. Faint but audible, movement
and rustling followed with yelling and cursing. The sinners were entering
the bank to retaliate for their fallen Trinsic troopers. Tension tightened
in Aswepes face, the blood left from his skin and felt like it was pooling
in his chest for his heart began seemingly to thump through his armour.
"Get ready..." Grunk hissed through his teeth.
The commotion grew louder as if the SAS strike team was just outside the
door. Aswepe gripped the handle even harder. The suddenly the door thundered
and rattled in its frame!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Fisted hammered at the door
and laughter and shouting followed it. BANG BANG- Grunk yelled out for
Aswepe to open and screamed at Orcish battle cry!...Aswepe flung the door
open to catch the suprised Rotifer bashing his fists in mid air. Aswepe
grabbed his arm and flung him into the room toward the steely toothed Blood
Clan warriors. Rotifer, off balance, flung head first and arms flailing
toward several pointed and sharp weapons. Aswepe spun to face the other
SAS who just as suprised, rallied and backed up. Aswepe hefted his sword
and spit a swing at the nearby Sinner as a blood curtling scream from Rotifer
screached from behind him. Ruknar pounced forward to the opposite side
of the door to help Aswepe hold the door way. Breathing frantically Aswepe
swung his hefty sword in and out and pushed the fools back from the doorway
but by now the SAS fools have rallied up from their surprise and charged
the doorway. Aswepe nearly buckled from the swings of axes and halbreds
crashing into his shield. Ruknar jabbed with his spear laughing as if in
a childish glee. After three heavy axe whacks to his shield, Aswepe stumbled
from the pressure and a forth one buckled his knees reeling him to the
ground. Ruknar, instead of rallying over the fallen Churma Fruked one,
jumped back away from the doorway and the SAS troopers blasted through
the doorway trampling Aswepe. The Clan opened fire, and several arrows
shafts appeared in the chests and throats of the front SAS, felling them.
And then the battle raged.
Aswepe, stunned for a few seconds from the trampling
boots kicking him felt himself dragged by his feet through the doorway.
Still partially groggy he saw an evil looking Skid sliding him into the
SAS held entryway. Skid chuckled and giggled in and insane delight. An
evil looking flat knife was unsheathed on the floor beside him. Aswepe
could hear his Brothers still battling in the next room, it did not sound
well. Groggily Aswepe tried to pull away, but his sense of balance was
still disrupted and his dizzy mind frumped him back.
Skid breathed a sickly word or two, but it was
too inaudible to be heard. He tore at hair and pinned Aswepes head to the
floor. Skid inched his face close to Aswepe who was pinned and weakened
from his newly found broken leg and arm. Skids heavy weight held him firm
and he whispered. "Have you ever been skinned alive? Heh Heh...Your
petty Blood Clan are dying as we speak. I couldnt wait for the combat to
end, I wanted one of you all to myself alive. Im going to pleasure myself
by starting with your face first.
The deadly flaying knife came up to Aswepes left
cheek. Just as the blade sharp edge touched his skin, the weight from his
body was belted off, and Skids scarred and evil face disappeared from Aswepes
vision. Aswepe crooked his head up on his on good side and saw a great
spear pinning Skid the back bank wall. Blood bubbled from his mouth as
he gasped for life.
"Churma Fruk!" boomed a voice, and Grunks orcish
face appeared before him. "Churma Fruk...you did well"...
As it was written during the glory war with the
Sinners, Grunk had from that day forward honored Aswepe with he honorable
title as "Churma Fruk...Aswepe the Frukked One." for the many wars and
battles to come, Aswepe held his name with honor until his unscheduled
early demise...but that is another story.
orc bed-time-song for orclings
Posted by ruk on July 21, 1998 at 13:16:36:
Jukkna gomma,.jukkna go ba-jo kay,.. i fishing in river,.. on sunny day,.. bogga-na po,.. humma gog nagga boggey me drop spear in water,.. it float away,..
auther unknown and killed by a tusked 3 toed boggart
angery female.
Blood Clan Chronicles: Book 1 of Baldar: Gnarr-Baldar
Posted by Grunk on July 21, 1998 at 14:30:30:
Throughout the turmoiled times that the Blood
Clan had grown and flourished through, never was there more greater a dueler
of Magic then of Gnarr-Baldar, Master Blood Mage. Here is a clip that i
photocopied form and old text i found stuffed in a box I found buried beneath
an old tire in my back yard.
"...Ruknar was flung backwards to crash into
the wall with a horrific crash, sending pots and pans flying ad clattering
to the floor. Half winded Ruknar hoisted himself up and rubbed his now
aching back and neck. He shook his to loosen the confusion and dizziness
from his sight and looked back up at his assailant.
"Garakk!" he spat and picked up his long spear
and gripped it for another charge. Baldar leaned on the back to legs of
his chair with his feet up on the table, picked at something between his
teeth and gave Ruknar a polite smile.
Ruknar charged. His spear pointed at Baldars
throat and cut through the air with his great Orc body in full charge.
Baldar, whispered a few inaudible and awkward words and flicked his fingers
at Ruknar. Just as ruknars spear was a foot away from Baldars exposed throat,
it his something unseen and Ruknar slammed face first into a mysterious
unseen barricade. Ruknars face contorted in pain and he fell to the ground
stunned.
Sighing Baldar stood up from his comfortable
position and faced the audience. "This is boring me, Half Orc. I
think I have proven that I can beat you best warrior. How about we go down
to the tavern and share a tankard."
"Bah!" Grunk spat, "You use magiks! Dat not make
you a warrior! Blood Clan want warriors not trickster mans!" "Is that so?
Trickster?" Baldar let out another sigh, stepped over Ruknars stunned body
to pick up his spear. "I'll tell you what orc. Since we share a few similar
objectives in this war, I will help your Clan defeat the CoTD army if you
can defeat me. I am not interested in joining a band of thugs who see the
mystical arts as mere sideshow tricks. I find it and insult to my intelligence,
especially coming from a half-orc."
"Grrrawwww!!! Blood Clan keel dis fool guy! Attack!"
At that call, the Brothers attacked the lone
Baldar. Magnus, Llew, and Slayer drew their swords and charged. Magnus,
being the quickest of the clan was the closest to be hit. Baldar chanted
a quick phrase and warrior was frozen in his place. Slayer and Llew raised
their weapons and swung to strike but the mage merely flicked his fingers
and their weapons bounced off another unseen magical wall sending them
bouncing backwards and putting hte two offbalance. Grunk through his spear
but it too only bounced of air, a foot from baldars head. Unblinking the
mage waved his arms and chanted something old and in audible. His fingers
gnarled tense and suddenly released outward a ball of flame in Grunk direction.
Grunk leapt to his left and crashed behind a table, as the deadly flame
ball roared near him and blasted into the wall where he once stood a split
second ago. Magnus still frozen stared in horror as Llew and Slayer were
raised in the air by unknown, unseen hands and flung backwards at Baldars
command. The crashed into the wall in pain.
Grunk, back on his feet leapt at the mages back
and caught the magic fling Baldar off guard sending him tumolting to the
ground. The two wrestled for moments as Grunk hgripped his throat to prevent
him from chanting a spell, and Baldar trying desperately to pull himself
away. Ruknar suddenly was back with the awake and had shaken his grogginess
and threw himself into the fray. Ruknar grabbed the baldar by the ears
and proceeded to slam his head into the floorboards. With Baldar distracted
Magnus was free of his paralyzation and leapt also into the Flailing Baldar.
Llew and slayer aroused and held down his arms
and legs and Grunk, Ruknar and Magnus proceeded to beat the mage senseless.
Baldar managed to gouge a finger in Grunks left eye socket send him screaming
in pain and he fell off backwards. Between head slams Baldars now free
throat managed a quick incantation. A sudden burst of light sent the Blood
Warriors spawling in every direction.
The room suddenly went quiet. Baldar lay motionless
and unconscious on the floor. His magic has expended his stamina and he
lay unconscious on the floor boards. A sick burnt smelling smoke sifted
and filled room, slowly dissipated. The Clan warriors lay sunburnt and
bruised. Smoke from burnt eyebrows and scorched hands sizzled from the
clan warriors.
When Baldar awoke he was bound and gagged to
a tree. The clan were rubbing their aching bodies nearby keeping a hard
eye on him. Nearby, ruknar was guarding and noticed the waking Mage.
"Chabba Hloka! Barnakka Barn!" he spat to the
burn brethren. The clan moaned and groaned and gathered around the bound
and silenced Baldar.
Grunk spoke up, "Baldar, you not warrior you
mage. Grunk not like magic mans, but Grunk say dis...Blood Clan will find
room for Baldar to help unt CotD armies. We let you be Brother. You proved
to Grunk dat Baldar can keel and urt peopols. Grunk name to Gnarr-Baldar."
and he unstrapped the and ungagged the weakened mage. "Heh Heh...Gnarr-Balkedarrr...eh-heh!"
grunted Ruknar
"What does Gnarr mean anyways orc?" Baldar responded.
Llew cleared his thoat and replied for the orc,
"Gnarr means nursing mother bear i think."
"Heh, yah, Baldar fight like mother bear defending
her suckling cubs. You a good fighter..,fight like woman bear...dat is
a great honor on Orc culture. A nursing Mother bears is...how you say...icon
of strength...to orcs."
Gratokk!!! Gnarr-Baldar!! Blood Clan Brother!!
Gratokk!!!"
So it was from that day forward that Baldar the
Mage became known as Gnarr-Baldar, the one who fights like nursing mother
bear. In the many battles to come Baldar has proven his title many times
over, and introduced the mighty Blood Brotherhood of Warriors into the
understanding and acceptance of magic. But this is not a tale in comparison
to the rest of Baldars story, his accession to power, his years of temporary
insanity and recovery, and his achievement of his great and honorable title
Blood Master Mage...but those are other tales yet to be recovered and told.
Isaiah the great, a warrior accepted
Posted by as documented by a bush monk on July 21, 1998 at 15:36:51:
From the time he first ran beside blood
charging into battle he showd sheer hard bravery,..
In time of retreat,.. he showd sacrifice,..
In times of setting traps and ambushes,.. he
showd patience,..
when ruknar stold a fish from his frying pan,..
he showd understanding
When eris poked him in the ribs,.. he showd no
pain
when baldor dropped his ice cream on the side
walk,. he bought him another,..
when Grunk threw a rock at his head by accident,..
he showd tollerance,.
when Llew showd him how to be-head a horned,
3 toed angery boggart with a butter knife he said "ouh!,.. cool!,.."
the day had come when all blood were lined up
in three formal parade attire and Grunk walked up to isiah, and said "Blogg
nach korr isiah da great one,." and Grunk than presented isaiah the great
with the honord blood red cape,.. the sacred secret rice-crispy blood de-coder
ring,. and the traditional orc acceptance punch in the face,.. "you r now
a full blood warrior,.. go forth with honor brother!" in the back-ground
Llew was playing a rousing version of the blood glory anthem,.. and isaiah
was left standing,.. teary eyed,.. blackened eyed,.. and nose bloodyd with
a huge smile on his face. over come with the honor and emotion of the moment,..
Isaiah the Great cryd out for all to hear at the top of his lungs
"Ugh,... I LOVE YOU GUYS!,.."
chapter 36, blood chronicals, as written
and recorded by a bush-monk
Blood Chronicles: Book 17 of Uvatha: The Sly and the Shiney
Posted by Grunk on July 21, 1998 at 17:28:56:
Uvatha has always been a mysterious brother of
the Clan. He had fought along side the Clan in the Great CotD wars when
he was under the tyrannical rule of the Master Mage Klaandarak. It was
not until the overthrow and defeat of this noble yet dark mage was Uvatha
released from the bounds of the Black Tower Clan. As the many books before
this one has told about his beginnings in to magical arts, his enlistment
in the Covetous Crossroads crossing guards, his dabbling in the arts of
mystical ballet and battle dancing, his warmongering years as a Vesper
Crusader, his forced membership into Blood Clan, and his rise to glory
asa brother. None of these tales however have explained his mark rightly
given to him, his name duly dubbed unto him. Uvatha the Sly, one of the
Blood Clans greatest Captains of War.
The pages concerning Book 17 of Uvatha are very
worn. The interpretations of the exact facts concerning this Clan warrior
are grey. The Books of uvatha were written as many of tyhe other were,
but since book 17: The Sly and the Shiney all the way to book 29: The Desecration
are writing in a different archaic tongue and is debatable whether or not
it is from the hand of Grunk himself, or the Chummurng the Orc orc who
overthrough the Clan many many years later. Either way its contents are
debatable as the orcish language is often vague and filled with obscuritieS
The Blood CLan was fleeing. The deep musty hallways
of the foul dungeon that nested many eveil, known as deceit, raced by as
7 survivors of the Alliance sponsored scouting expedition were fleeing
for their lives. The original party consisted of 5 Blood Clan and 15 others
from the allied clans. There were sent more as an expeditionary force for
the large assault on the SAS secret hideout deep in Deceit catacombs. However,
the forward reconnaissance was ambushed from a SAS spy. The scouts walked
into a trap consisting of SAS warriors, and a band of hired orcs hunters.
Uvatha lead the frantic expedition back to the surface but the maze and
flight had made the retreat tumltuose and disastrous. Many soldiers well
felled including Barnhard the Meek, Joiley the Keen, and Manson the plumber,
all great heroes during the old CotD wars and now nothing more then legends
from their time. Lucifer Collector of Heads was at the back of the pack,
his sword was bloodied with Orcs and SAS but his own blood was gushing
from a deep wound across his chest. The frantic party halted briefly to
pick up the stumbling Lucifer. Uvatha, as captain of the squad realized
they must stop and hide, to treat Lucifers wounds, otherwise he would be
with the dead. "Were gonna die! Man we're gonna die! We're history man!"
panicked Lucifer
Eyes darting, Uvatha pointed to a small chamber
half seen chamber on their left. The party hurried into the room and barricaded
the door. Orc hunters were on their pursuit and were probably a few turns
behind them. "Now what are we gonna do?! Uvatha what are we gonna do...ah
gawd im bleeding all over the place...the blood!!" cried Lucifer, Collector
of Heads, One who never Panics. Silently the party rested as uvatha applied
a secret sauce recipe he got from an old man who sold him regents and hamburgers
many years back, and began to dress Lucifers wounds. Time had passed. Orc
parties were heard passing several times over the past few hours as the
party hid. Silently they waited for Uvathas call to move on.
A day passed, or so it seemed. Still Uvatha kept
the party silent and hid until 2 days later, when rations were nearly exhausted,
Uvatha gave the order to move out as Lucifre was more capable to walk and
less exhausted. Uvatha dogged and evaded the many Orc hunting parties ans
SAS hunting sorties that were searching frantically for them. Many hours
later the ascended and wound their way to the upper levels of the catacombs
, still yet undetected. Coming to a large set of double doors, which was
a guard chamber just before the entrance of the foul dungeon, the party
stopped. A dilemma arose. If the guard room was occupied they faced a certain
death from overwhelming odd, but they could not go back, as many hunting
sorties were cathing on to their tracks and were in pursuit. It would not
be long until they were discovered. Finding a small chamber by back tracking
slightly they held up and pondered their dilemma. The guard room was often
occupied by 3 times their numbers, but sometimes it was near empty. They
needed to know if they should risk the guard room to flee to the outside
or they should wait out and wait for a sign that it was truly empty. There
was no way 7 men could get through a fully guarded exit. Uvatha pondered
and thought, until he finally made his decision. He spoke of his plan to
the remaining soldiers. His plan to attempt an old orcish ritual that Grunk
once spoke of around the fire when he was really drunk from too much celbrating
and gin and tonic. An attempt to commit himself to the Kamta-Satru, the
spirit walk. The kamta-Satru involved a buring of a strange root and inhaling
its smoke. Then after two minutes of chanting "Barbarak, Barbarak, Modeeago,
Tomonk, Eeeyii, Eeeyii, Yoooo, And Sometimes Why" the spirit walker will
leave his body. His body will evaporate with him and he can walk the land
like the dead until he will to join the living. Everyone looked at one
another in disbelief. "What? Spirit Walk?" "Snorting smoke? This is no
time for drugs!" "What the heck is he talking about?" "I think he's finally
cracked!" "Kamtra-Satru? Drunk Orc tale? Your Wacked!"
Depite the protests Uvatha already was searching
through his pack for the needed ingredients. Frantically he spilled many
of his backpack contents on the floor until he found his needed ingredient.
Ginger Spice, a rare herb he bought from a old coot who sold Spices and
Deodorants from a booth called Spice World in the Minoc Farmers Market.
Quickly burning the root with a small fire he instantly created he chanted
the old ritual words in a dizzy purple faded trance. His body began to
fade as he neared the end of the chant until finally his clothes fell to
the ground and his body gone. The remain scout party was stunned. Thinking
Uvatha was actually dead from a weird kind of spontaneous human combustion
that Grunk often spoke bout when drunk around the campfires, they grabbed
for his gear and proceeded to pack it up to bring home to the clan. The
news of the ambush would be bad for the Alliance but the loss of uvatha
would be tumultuous. Prophet was picking up uvathas backpacks spilled contents
and repacking them. Bag of marbles, bic lighter, spoon with crusty food
still stuck to it, a shiney ring, a small slipperey pebble, a McDonalds
Spy decoder bracelet, Wonderwoman Adveture comic book, New Kids on the
Block action figure, and an old non-biodegradable stirophone Big Mac container.
Puzzled at uvathas strange obsession for trinkets and shiney objects he
gather the rest of his equipemnt together. With uvatha gone Prophet assumed
charges and order the scouting party to simply open the doors and take
their chances. Churma-Fruk opend the door and the guard room was empty
save for two Orc guards sleeping in the fetal position, which the party
snuk past easily. After a two day voyage home the party returned and reported
to Alliance the failure of the mission and to Grunk about the loss of Uvatha.
After a few days mourning, Uvatha appeared at the doorstep of the clans
guildhouse, naked save for the makesift bark undergarments he fashioned
from a fallen tree. Apparently Uvatah did commit to the spirit walk but
could not rember the chant to return. after many days of wandering he remembered
the correct phrases and returned to the living alive, well, and unclothed.
It was along humiliating walk home.
For Uvatha's great leadership, and quick thinking
he was dubbed Uvatha the Sly and also "Chebok" as Ruknar after the old
Pale Skinned Warrior from Orc folk Tale
chapter 48 of the Blood Chronicles,.. as written by a bush-monk
Posted by Eris and the Harry Buck-Tusked Mud-Huth on July 21, 1998 at 19:29:02:
Gonth was a mud-huth,.. a huge harry buck-tusked
mud huth,.. he had grey muddy colord long dirty hair that coverd his entire
body,.. it hid his 800lb musclular ape-like body,. he had 2 toes on each
of his feet and his huge knuckles dragged on the ground,.. he had one big
blue eye and a huge drooling gap toothed maw that had 2 large protruding
tusks that curved upward past his head. and he smelled like a long dead
oysters like the kind you dont buy from the gypsies in trinsic.. one hot
sunny day,.. gonth was searching the outskirts of the swamps locades below
the desert in britania with his friend Hhuhh. Hhuhh was a headless who
hung around gonth and scavenged off whatever gonth killed and ate,.. gonth
seemed to like the conversation hhuhh brought out of him and had put up
with the headlesses antics for years now,.. they were good friends,.. gonth
was about to give up hunting for the day,.. arg! no humans or cats or aligaters
for me to eat today" he said with a low moan "hhh hukk uhhh hukkahhh
hhhh huk" replied hhuhh out of his neck hole.. gonth was just about to
head home to his beloved mud hole when he noticed a pretty human woman
off in the distance sitting by herself on a log. She has red locks and
big eyes and she was wearing a burgandy dress and carrying a basket of
dandy-lions. she was humming to herself and eating a hand full of wild
mogg-berrys she had picked,.. gonth felt his empty stomech grumble and
he thought to himself,.. oh goody goody,.. now i can have human woman for
hungry tummy,.. hhuhh said "hhh" obvioulsy feeling hunger pains himself,..
they hadnt eaten since 4 days before when they had stumbled upon the magical
village of the teeny-tiny people,.. they had eaten three fill then,.. but
were hungery again now thinking as fast as he could,.. gonth casually walked
up to the pretty lady sitting on the log as if he were strolling down the
red light district in britan on a saterday night tavern hopping. he couldnt
sneak up and club her from behind now since she had noticed him so he acted
as casual as he could,.. hhuhh in tow hi there pretty woman,.. moaned gonth,..
the little lady looked up to gonth and smiled. "hi" she said "lovely day
isnt it" said gonth yes it is she said in a small pretty voice may i sit
beside you pretty girl? why yes you may,.. gonth couldnr believe his good
luck,.. they would eat flesh tonight uhh,.. those pretty flowers u got
three,.. thank you she said,.. my friend ruknar picked them for me from
the corner of the parking lot beside the garbage cans near the bank in
Vesper,.. "hmm" thought gonth,.. "hhhhuck" said Hhuh that pretty dress
u wearing said gonth thank you smiled the woman,.. Patricia the tailor
made it for me in Vesper,.. "huck huck huck" said Hhuhh whats your name?
asked the girl,.. my name is eris,.. she said in a cheery voice,.. gonth
chuckled to himself I am gonth,.. and im going to eat you for supper,..
heh heh before Hhuhh the headless could breath his aprovell and before
gonth had a chance to do anything but gloat down at the lady. eris stood
up and handed the basket of dandlion sat holding them confused can you
hold this for a sec? uhh,.. sure gonth said holding the dandylions
in his harry paws. erid casually reached under her pretty dress and pulled
out the freakin hugest cast iron studded mace gonth had ever seen in his
life and as fast as a chicken caught in an orc village,.. she took the
mace in her tiny little hands and gave gonth 3 thundering blows to his
thick skull leaving gonth dead on his but sitting on the log holding the
flowers,.. gonth than flopped over,.. "hhhhaaawww!?!?!" gasped the headless
standing near by,.. eris turned and said "bite me looser,.. Corp Por" and
a blue light wave shot from her body and instantly ignited the headless
aflame hhwwrraaawwwwwhhhhhh screamed the headless as he ran, flaming toward
the swamps,. eris removed the dress revealing fine studded leather battle
armor and tucked the dress into her back pack,.. hers one for you
lady Patricia,.. lady Patricia appeared out of a near-by brush,. thanked
eris,. and began skinning the corps of gonth,.. eris picked up the basket
of dandylions and dumped them on the ground and turned the basket over,..
it was a skull helm,. she put it on,.. "i got to book,.. me and hellsong
are going to watch the thief hangings taking place in Vesper tonight and
i dont want to be late,.. byeee" eris waved and skipped away,. Patricia
skinned the mud-huth and smacked off the tusks for three prized ivery with
a big rock and she headed south to meet Grunk and glendor in britan later
that night,.. a nakid headless who had the hair scorched off his body feasted
on the remains of his dead friend,... "hhhhhh huck huck hucka-huck" he
said to himself.
as documented and written by a bush-monk